Yoga saved my life. A big statement yes, but also the truth. My struggles with food, body image and self-acceptance 1st presented themselves in my early-teens and continued to plague me for the next 20 years. At the height of my eating disorder was a 14-year struggle with bulimia-nervosa. There were extremely dark times where I would only leave the house for food and the endless cycle of binging and purging would continue for days at a time. During this phase of my life I honestly thought I would never escape the cycle, and it was not through lack of trying. I saw doctors, psychiatrists and psychologists. I was prescribed anti-depressants at the age of 15.
Despite this, those closest to me did not understand I was suffering a mental disorder. Unhelpful advice was often offered “just don’t eat so much” or “only eat 2 biscuits and you won’t need to have the whole pack”. Naturally at the time, both concepts where so unattainable for me that the shame felt each time was magnified.
So, for a very long time nothing shifted for me. That was, until yoga found me…
So, please believe me when I say, I understand. I understand your struggle, pain and shame, because I walked that path for a long time too. I understand it can feel scary to inhabit your body, a body you have been/are still, at war with. I understand being so disconnected from your body you have no idea how to feel your emotions, let alone how to name or process them. No matter what you are thinking, feeling, or fearing, I have been there too. I know your struggle because it was my struggle. There is a way out and for me that way was Yoga.